0:00 Replacing the Worthless Past Self w/ a New Perfect One
1:45 Fragmentation / No Coherent Sense of Self / The Ego
4:52 Obsession w/ a Celebrity & Modeling Herself After Her
7:30 What Happens to the Past Self? Emptiness & a PD
12:40 “NPD sucks the life out of you”: Lost Passion and Regret
14:35...

0:00 The Development of NPD in Childhood / Need for Independence
3:00 His "Rebirth / Creating a New Persona to Battle the Self-Hate
5:40 Rough Spot / Social Group Breakdown / Another "Rebirth"
7:37 Therapy / Relationships / Fantasy of Ideal Love
10:35 Becoming More Self-Aware / Lying in Therapy /...

0:00 Isolation Hides BPD Symptoms / Not Having Friends
2:35 “Seven-year relationship” ≠ Wellness; Leapfrog to New Relationship
4:02 Always Having to Prove She Has BPD / The Cutting Incident / The Criteria
7:30 Not Getting Help / The Belt Attempt / People Don't Want to Believe Her
10:04 Suicidalit...

0:00 Intro / Healing from Trauma
3:02 Shutting Down / Struggling to Label Feelings / Avoiding her Diagnosis
6:35 Trauma with Women / Competition / Fear of Judgment
15:03 Struggling to Want Connection / Fear of Being a Fraud / Using People for Selfies
17:33 Safety Strategies / Waiting Until People...

0:00 Intro / Pathology as Identity / Pros & Cons of NPD
3:55 Pride in Being Callous / Disgust w/ Dependency / Self-Reliance
7:52 Exploiting People / Loss of Control / Conquest for Affirmation
10:35 Working to Be Unlike His Parents & Less Disgusting
14:21 Being Critical of Himself / "Greasy, Fat, ...

0:00 Intro / Setup / How This Can Be Most Helpful
2:49 Background Story: Not Fitting In / Toxic Relationships / Not Having Friends / No Sense of Self / Other-Focus / Getting BPD Diagnosis
10:28 Being Seen as "High-functioning" vs Feeling Persistent Distress
15:48 Feeling Judged / Fighting for Sel...

0:00 Wanting to Know Why She's Miserable Even Though Self-Aware
0:42 Feeling "Hollow" No Matter What She Does
2:18 Needing to Be Understood & Doubting Anyone Can
5:12 Fearing Being Understood / Not Being "Fascinating" Anymore
6:56 "Groundhog Day" of Disappointing, Empty, Boring Life
10:36 Wishing...

0:00 Intro / Orientation to MBT
4:20 Participant Introductions
9:56 Definition of Mentalization
13:31 Tessa on Performance, Avoidance, and Showing Up
16:31 Reflections on Mentalizing | Jacob's Example
21:22 The Mentalizing Stance | Curiosity | Strengthening the Muscle
22:47 Tessa's Difficulty w/ ...

0:00 "Problem Round" Setup: Choosing Specific, Recent Patterns to Mentalize Around
2:16 Tiffany's Pattern— Social Media Comments & Self-Esteem
4:36 Jacob's Pattern -- Impression Management & Missing Out on Depth / Connection
11:52 Tessa’s Pattern — Persistent Disconnection
15:30 Unruh: Finding Co...

0:00 Intro & Homework Setup
1:21 Tessa's Homework: Mindfulness of Others, Anxiety
6:46 Tiffany's Homework: Radical Acceptance & Friendships
11:30 Jacob's Homework: Invalidation, Self-Validation & Motivation
16:43 Guided Mindfulness Speaking & Listening Practice
21:10 Reflections on Mindful Practi...

0:00 Intro / Current Therapist Situation
1:47 Family Background / Life History
5:54 Not Wanting Pity / Resilience
8:16 Inability to Open Up / Shame / Emotional Detachment
11:16 The Power of Therapy -- Developing Emotional Muscle / Insight
15:12 Therapy Is a Second Chance at a Safe, Reliable Place...

0:00 "It Was Everything I didn't Expect" / Expectations of Control
2:06 Feeling "Looked Down On" / Getting Defensive
6:20 What She Got Out of the Session w/ Karen

0:00 Staying Curious About Jacob's Pathology / Sensitive to Context
2:26 Enjoying the Conversation / Why It Was Productive & Hopeful
4:05 Introducing Curiosity Instead of Certainty

0:00 Balancing Motivations / Impression-Management
1:22 Needing to Lead the Clinician to Conclusions
4:07 The Fencing Match of Therapy / Laughing Off Emotions
6:22 The Main Takeaway: Some Clinicians Are Competent

0:00 What Dr. Jacob Listens for in a Session / Narratives
2:52 Tiffany's People-pleasing and then "Losing Herself"
4:05 Tiffany's Lack of Affect vs. Cognitive Understanding
6:51 Therapeutic Tactics to Connect to Feelings Under the Cognitions

0:00 Fear of Not Being Believed as Having BPD
4:21 Identifying as Having BPD / It's Not a Fashion Statement
8:02 Against "Armchair Psychiatry" / Having Her Diagnosis Questioned / Anger & Isolation

0:00 Intro Thoughts / Tessa Looking for a Transformative Experience
1:08 Maintaining Sense of Self: Internally vs. Externally / "Fakeness"
3:50 The Dilemma of Getting Better
7:51 Tessa's Construction of a New Self / The Split Between Old and New Selves

0:00 Therapists as Guides / Feeling Listened to / Igor's Understanding
2:43 Letting Go of Wanting to Impress / Igor's Non-judgment
3:38 The Question of "Her" Celebrity Being Flawed
5:18 What She'll Take Away From The Session / Breaking Free
7:07 Reconnecting with Her Parents

0:00 Balancing Teaching w/ Participants' Viewpoints/Experience
1:24 Importance of Homework & Practice in DBT
4:14 Radical Acceptance / Mindfulness
5:21 Definition of "Mindfulness" / Light Analogy
8:28 The Point of the Mindful Speaking Exercise
12:42 Closing / Appreciation

00:00 Why DBT? / Dialectics & Skills Training
03:55 DBT’s Focus on Behavioral Change vs. Insight-Oriented Therapies

0:00 Initial Reactions: Jacob's Discomfort, Sadness, Loneliness, Insecurity
2:39 NPD or Borderline Traits -- Means "Something Happened" Early On
4:03 How Therapy Can Provide an Alternative to the Old Narrative
10:19 Recommending Team-Based Support for Jacob

0:00 Caught Off Guard by Dr. Lewis's Empathic Approach
1:04 External Features vs. Character Affirmations
4:55 Jacob's Self-Reliance / Finding Help
6:59 Selfishness vs. Altruism / Craving Attention

0:00 Intro / Not Feeling Believed
1:45 Tolerating If You're Not Believed or Understood
4:56 "Why Does It Matter If People Believe You?"
5:56 She Can't Be Understood; Being Believed Is the Next Best Thing
10:53 "Believe Yourself, not the Non-Believers"
13:54 Having the Right to Suffer / Byes

-Tessa's departure & his feelings about her

0:00 Not Wanting to Suffer Anymore / Being Self-Aware Hurts
3:10 Motivations for Coming Here / Perfectionism / Being Admirable / Trauma Getting in the Way of Connection / Facing Reality / Boredom
11:12 Being Open to Engaging Now vs. in the Past / Anger / Relationships
15:34 Trauma & PTSD / Humili...

0:00 Intro / "I'll Always Be a Narcissist" / Remission vs Recovery / Craving Chaos & Novelty to Fight Emptiness and Boredom
7:10 The "Creating a Scandal" Story / Revenge, Rationalization & Shame
15:54 A PTSD Moment / Blowing Up Friendship Bridges
20:13 The Development of NPD in Childhood / Need f...

0:00 Intro / Why She Agreed to Do This
3:52 Isolation Hides BPD Symptoms / Not Having Friends
6:59 “Seven-year relationship” ≠ Wellness; Leapfrog to New Relationship
12:09 Always Having to Prove She Has BPD / The Cutting Incident / The Criteria
16:44 Not Getting Help / The Belt Attempt / People D...

0:00 Intro / Healing from Trauma
2:59 Shutting Down / Struggling to Label Feelings / Avoiding her Diagnosis
6:32 Trauma with Women / Competition / Fear of Judgment
15:16 Struggling to Want Connection / Fear of Being a Fraud / Using People for Selfies
17:48 Safety Strategies / Waiting Until People...

0:00 Intro / Jacob's Social Media Campaign / Motivations / Confusion about His Actions / Destructive Behavior / Beast or Monster
9:29 Pathology as Identity / Pros & Cons of NPD
11:54 Pride in Being Callous / Disgust w/ Dependency / Self-Reliance
16:06 Exploiting People / Loss of Control / Conques...

0:00 Tiffany's Family & Life Background / Invalidation
4:11 Therapy / Depression / Ketamine Infusions
6:19 How This Can Be Most Helpful / Challenging Auto-Thoughts
9:14 More Background Story: Not Fitting In / Toxic Relationships / Not Having Friends / No Sense of Self / Other-Focus / Getting BPD ...

0:00 Wanting to Know Why She's Miserable Even Though Self-Aware
0:39 Feeling "Hollow" No Matter What She Does / Trying EMDR, CBT
3:53 Needing to Be Understood & Doubting Anyone Can
7:18 Fearing Being Understood / Not Being "Fascinating" Anymore
9:18 "Groundhog Day" of Disappointing, Empty, Boring...

0:00 Intro / Orientation to MBT
5:00 Participant Introductions
10:45 Definition of Mentalization
14:22 Tessa on Performance, Avoidance, and Showing Up
17:22 Reflections on Mentalizing | Jacob's Example
22:20 The Mentalizing Stance | Curiosity | Strengthening the Muscle
23:45 Tessa's Difficulty w/...

0:00 "Problem Round" Setup: Choosing Specific, Recent Patterns to Mentalize Around
4:35 Tiffany's Pattern— Social Media Comments & Self-Esteem
7:47 Jacob's Pattern -- Impression Management & Missing Out on Depth / Connection
15:25 Tessa’s Pattern — Persistent Disconnection
21:32 Unruh: Finding Co...

0:00 Intro & Homework Setup
1:19 Tessa's Homework: Mindfulness of Others, Anxiety
6:48 Tiffany's Homework: Radical Acceptance & Friendships
11:38 Jacob's Homework: Invalidation, Self-Validation & Motivation
16:49 Guided Mindfulness Speaking & Listening Practice
21:14 Reflections on Mindful Practi...

0:00 Jacob's Current Therapist Situation / Rational vs. Irrational / Don't Assume the Worst About Yourself / The Emotions Behind Anger & Irritation / Being Dismissed & Treated Unfairly Because He's "Crazy"
12:06 Family Background / Life History
16:32 Not Wanting Pity / Resilience
19:16 Inability ...

0:00 Intro / "It Was Everything I didn't Expect" / Expectations of Control / EMDR
6:12 Feeling "Looked Down On" / Getting Defensive
10:24 Getting Triggered & Showing Emotions / Jacob Comparisons
21:54 What She Got Out of the Session w/ Karen / Outro

0:00 Into / Staying Curious About Jacob's Pathology / Sensitive to Context
3:44 Enjoying the Conversation / Why It Was Productive & Hopeful
5:23 Promoting Effective Treatments for Narcissism / Being Too Empathic
8:31 Introducing Curiosity Instead of Certainty

0:00 Intro / Balancing Motivations / Impression-Management
2:05 Needing to Lead the Clinician to Conclusions
5:38 The Fencing Match of Therapy / Laughing Off Emotions
9:25 Aloneness / Feeling Understood / Tessa / Friendships
16:08 The Main Takeaway: Some Clinicians Are Competent

-Leading around a therapist
-Taking comfort in loneliness
-Etc.

0:00 Setup / Rebbie Intro / Friendship
3:36 What Dr. Jacob Listens for in a Session / Narratives
6:17 Tiffany's People-pleasing and then "Losing Herself"
7:30 Tiffany's Lack of Affect vs. Cognitive Understanding
10:31 Therapeutic Tactics to Connect to Feelings Under the Cognitions
13:43 Knowing Y...

0:00 Fear of Not Being Believed as Having BPD / Not "Acting Like" She Has a Personality Disorder
14:04 Identifying as Having BPD / It's Not a Fashion Statement
20:25 Having Her Diagnosis Questioned / Against "Armchair Psychiatry" / Anger & Isolation
25:25 What She's Learned Here So Far / Differen...

0:00 Intro Thoughts / Tessa Looking for a Transformative Experience
1:13 Maintaining Sense of Self: Internally vs. Externally / "Fakeness"
4:05 The Dilemma of Getting Better
8:14 Tessa's Construction of a New Self / The Split Between Old and New Selves
12:12 Developing a Better Relationship w/ Pa...

0:00 Therapists as Guides / Feeling Listened to / Igor's Understanding
2:45 Letting Go of Wanting to Impress / Igor's Non-judgment
3:42 The Question of "Her" Celebrity Being Flawed / Emulating the Celebrity & Getting Rid of the Past Self vs. Integrating It / Imposter in Her Own Body
13:00 What Sh...

-Tessa has nice things to say about Igor's style of therapeutic conversation.
-Feeling comfortable opening up.
-Etc.

0:00 Balancing Teaching w/ Participants' Viewpoints/Experience
1:27 Importance of Homework & Practice in DBT
4:19 Radical Acceptance / Mindfulness
5:38 Definition of "Mindfulness" / Light Analogy
8:49 The Point of the Mindful Speaking Exercise
13:07 Closing / Appreciation

00:00 Why DBT? / Dialectics & Skills Training
04:41 DBT’s Focus on Behavioral Change vs. Insight-Oriented Therapies.

0:00 Initial Reactions: Jacob's Discomfort, Sadness, Loneliness, Insecurity
4:27 NPD or Borderline Traits -- Means "Something Happened" Early On
7:09 How Therapy Can Provide an Alternative to the Old Narrative
13:48 Impression Mode / What's Fueling It
17:07 Recommending Team-Based Support for Jac...

0:00 Caught Off Guard by Dr. Lewis's Empathic Approach
1:02 External Features vs. Character Affirmations
5:14 Justifying / Rationalizing "Bad" Behavior
9:39 Losing His Old Friends / Social Group / Having No Equals
15:52 Hierarchy is the "Only Way" Things Make Sense / Objective Worth
20:48 Jacob's...

0:00 Intro / Not Feeling Believed
1:47 Tolerating If You're Not Believed or Understood
4:58 "Why Does It Matter If People Believe You?"
6:00 She Can't Be Understood; Being Believed Is the Next Best Thing
11:04 "Believe Yourself, not the Non-Believers"
14:09 Having the Right to Suffer
15:08 Not Ex...

0:00 Being the "Charity Case" of His Friends' Parents / Not Taking Advantage
2:23 Going Back to School / Not Having the Motivation
4:18 Tessa Leaving / Friendship / True Connection / Leaving Ohio / Financials / The Future
10:45 It's Been an "Incredible Experience" / Positive Comments About the PD...