0:00 Not Wanting to Suffer Anymore / Being Self-Aware Hurts
3:10 Motivations for Coming Here / Perfectionism / Being Admirable / Trauma Getting in the Way of Connection / Facing Reality / Boredom
11:12 Being Open to Engaging Now vs. in the Past / Anger / Relationships
15:34 Trauma & PTSD / Humiliation / the Spotlight
18:39 The Core of NPD: Replacing the Worthless Past Self w/ a New Perfect One
20:19 Fragmentation / No Coherent Sense of Self / The Ego
23:40 Obsession w/ a Celebrity & Modeling Herself After Her
28:45 What Happens to the Past Self? Emptiness & a PD
34:30 “NPD sucks the life out of you”: Lost Passion and Regret / Cannabis Psychosis / Dissociation & Leaning Into Emotions / Ego Death
42:37 Being Terrified of Real Connection / Shutting Off to People & Emotions / Admiration in Relationships
50:09 Care and Love w/ Ex-Boyfriend
52:13 NPD Defenses Are There for a Reason / Anger / Healing
54:54 What's Your Hope for the Trip? / Outro