00:00 Intro / Bancroft's background / Social Change
06:40 Patriarchy / Men in the Field of Gender Justice
09:55 Abusers' Ideas of Service / Enforcement / Entitlement / Upper Class Batterers
12:45 Defining Battering / Physical Abuse & Other Types of Abuse / Trusting Your Perceptions / What to Watch for
19:23 Should You Leave an Abusive Relationship? / Levels of Distance
22:05 The Abuser Mentality: "You're On This Earth To Make Me Happy" / Accountability / Abusers in Private vs in Public / Are Abusers Personality Disordered?
26:30 Are Abusers Fixable? / Abusers' Learned, Deep Entitlement
30:47 Have Abusers Changed in the Past 30 Years? / Post-Separation Homicides
34:02 Why It's Hard to Leave an Abusive Relationship
37:13 Why NOT to Tell the Woman to Leave the Relationship / Bias in Custody Courts / Strategies to Increase Agency
47:08 The Abuser's Investment in the Relationship / Attachment to Power
49:44 Marriage and Abusive Relationships / Custody Issues / Problems in Family Courts / Nuclear Family / Legal Standard
1:01:27 Why Couples Therapy Isn't the Solution / Societal Training
1:05:58 "Narcissist" or Domestic Abuser? Personality Disorder? Addiction?
1:10:29 You Can't Judge a Batterer from the Outside
1:12:03 The Problematic Underpinning of Psychology / Freud & the Oedipal Complex
1:16:58 Problems with Family/Couples Counseling for Abuse
1:21:29 Love vs Respect in Relationships
1:24:38 Narcissism & The Abuser Tactic of "Defining Reality" / How She Can Hold onto Reality
1:34:30 How to Help Your Children if You're In an Abusive Relationship / Manipulation
1:43:10 Are Abusers Conscious of What They're Doing or Their Motivations?
1:47:47 Differentiating Between Types of Abuse / Public Displays of Violence / Verbal Abuse / Abusers' Need for Unequal Relationships
1:57:09 Is It Better for the Abuser to Give Up Being Abusive? / It's Hard Work
2:01:12 The Fundamental Self-Centeredness of Men / Confronting Destructive Behavior in Abusers vs Personality Disordered People
2:07:06 Issues w/ Couples Counseling / Not All Feelings Are Valid / Abuse Not Being Considered in Psychology / Pathologizing Women's Responses to Abuse
2:17:20 Reproductive Rights & Social Support / Societal Issues
2:23:20 Abuse and the Pros and Cons of the Internet / The Father's Rights Movement / Matrilineal Societies
2:30:00 Societal Disrespect of Women / A Woman's Self-Respect / Trying to Get Men & Boys to Respect Women / Societal Status of Women / Oppressive Systems / Public Confrontations of Abusers / Community Response vs. Legal Response
2:46:20 Violation & Shame
2:52:27 How Abusers Sow Divisions Between Moms and Children
2:55:40 Advice for Women in Custody Battles w/ Abusive Men